Whipping, (actually spanking)

[VF500]

The whipping thread got away, which is fine. Let's go at it from another perspective. What do y'all think of spanking (as punishment not torture)? Speaking personally I was spanked a bunch growing up. Violence does beget violence. From the age of 14, my method of conflict resolution was to say, "Does it make you mad enough to want to try and kick my ass?" If it did, we went at it. If it didn't, we went about our business. Either way it worked for me. It's only within the last few years that I've started using my logic more then my fists. When a child receives pain from someone, who says they love them, it really presents a mental challenge to the child. It sets up girls to accept abusive relationships because "He does it for myown good", "It was my fault.", or "He really does love me". Oh really. Spanking makes boys (like me) real angry and not respect authority. I managed to avoid more than just a brush with jail (got held for a few hours on an assault charge) but it got me into a lot of scrapes in the Marine Corps (30 days of correctional custody and numerous restrictions). I gave my son three total spanks on the butt on two different occasions, which were three too many. The dangerous problem with physical punishment is that it gets out of hand sometimes. What do the rest of you think about it?

[Kuch]

Man VF, you like to pick doozies, don’t you?

I was spanked when I was young. My Mom had a wooden spoon she kept on the top of the fridge that she would crack us with. Now, I was the youngest of 3 children, so I learned a lot by watching my brother and sister grow up and make mistakes, so I got hit much less than they did. But, of all the times I got cracked, I know I deserved all of them and it made me not do again whatever it was that precipitated the punishment. I wasn’t particularly violent person in my teens or early 20s, so I don’t really think it had much of an emotional impact on me. I knew my parents loved me and I also knew the punishment was a response to my actions.

I think the presumption that spanking sets women up to be involved in abusive relationships is a little too much and I would like to see some verifiable evidence that this exists. The fact that you attribute your spankings to your subsequent violent behavior doesn’t mean that will happen to everyone.

Now, should spanking be the only form of punishment that parents use? I’d have to say no, but I think each parent needs to decide that for themselves.

[JoeM]

I was also spanked, when I deserved punishment. It didn't make me violent, but it was also not used as extensively on me as it seems to have been on you. I also bet that there were other examples in your life where it was demonstrated that fighting was an acceptable option.

I raised my son on my own, and he was spanked occasionally, but only when he was really young. Sometimes that is the only thing that will get their attention. After about 4 or 5 years old I think that there are better ways. This is when you try to start teaching them to think before they act. I remember one time when my son was about 10 or 11, and he really pissed me off. It was one of those times when the mouth starts to run and they can't seem to find the off switch. I reached out and smacked him on the leg just hard enough to sting a little. I'm sure it was the first time that he could remember. The look I got from him was like I had betrayed him. I did appologize to him later, but I felt bad for a long time. I think that any physical punishment after they begin to think for themselves is counterproductive.

[VF500]

All right, fair enough. But in my case, I got spanked (with a lathe kept under my parents bed that I often had to go and get) for doing what now seems like the same things, getting home late for supper, making too much noise and sometimes I didn't even know why. If spanking me had worked, my dad shouldn't have had to keep doing it. I think I was a relief valve that was always handy to find fault with. He was pretty much of an Ahole and I didn't have any contact with him the last twenty some years of his life. I've heard people say I'd miss him after he was gone. That was in 2004. I'm still waiting.

[VF500]

I was also spanked, when I deserved punishment. It didn't make me violent, but it was also not used as extensively on me as it seems to have been on you. I also bet that there were other examples in your life where it was demonstrated that fighting was an acceptable option.
Fighting was actually enjoyable but, like all medication, it wears off and you need some more.

I raised my son on my own, and he was spanked occasionally, but only when he was really young. Sometimes that is the only thing that will get their attention. After about 4 or 5 years old I think that there are better ways. This is when you try to start teaching them to think before they act. I remember one time when my son was about 10 or 11, and he really pissed me off. It was one of those times when the mouth starts to run and they can't seem to find the off switch. I reached out and smacked him on the leg just hard enough to sting a little. I'm sure it was the first time that he could remember. The look I got from him was like I had betrayed him. I did appologize to him later, but I felt bad for a long time. I think that any physical punishment after they begin to think for themselves is counterproductive.
My spanks were more for me, I believe, than for my son. He was a very reasonable child and could be counted on to do what he was asked. My voice was all he needed to know when he was getting close to the edge.

[Kasturi]

I think spanking should be used as long as it doesnt start to go overboard. There is a fine line between spanking and abuse.
I was spanked as a child when I deserved it. Only we had to pick the item of choice that was to be used. I.E. Hand, belt, switch

What I really dont understand are the parents that do the counting method.
I would like to, but have not had the chance to ask a parent what happens after they reach 3. Do they continue to count?


Has anyone heard about that lady in MA (I think) that is trying to get corporal punishment banned?