Well...that explains it

[Kassia]

It was a very stressful Christmas Eve for Santa. Four of his elves were sick, and the trainees couldn't do the work right. Then Mrs. Claus says that her mother is coming for a visit, stressing Santa even more. He then checks on his reindeer. Three are about to give birth, and two runs off to who knows where. Santa then decides to get coffee and whiskey. The elves had hit the liquorboard already and emptied it. Then the doorbell rings, and Santa cusses on the way to the door. There's this little angel carrying a big Christmas tree. She asks, "Hey fat man, where would you like me to put this tree?"

And that is the story of how the little angel got to be on top of the Christmas tree.


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Kassia

[Kassia]

One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly
came upon a large raging, violent river. They needed
to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.

The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God,
give me the strength to cross this river."

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and
he was able to swim across the river in about two
hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying,
"Please God, give me the strength ..and the tools to
cross this river."

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to
row across the river in about an hour, after almost
capsizing the boat a couple of times.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the
other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please
God, give me the strength and the tools...and the
intelligence... to cross this river."

And poof! God turned him into a woman.

She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple
of hundred yards, then walked across the bridge.