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View Full Version : Need a sign??


Kassia
12-16-2001, 08:00 PM
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says "Hey, you moving?"
"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test
it. "All right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled
right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought, sure he was clear of needing a sign...until
he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering a bridge...here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?

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Kassia

HAL9000
12-17-2001, 12:16 AM
I hear ya. Do you know how many times a week people walk into my computer shop and ask "Do you sell computers here?" can we all say it together, here's your sign.

HAL9000
12-17-2001, 12:29 AM
Shit, I just remember this one, you're going to love it.

A couple years ago, I used to work coat check at one of the popular nightclubs in town. I had an American girl come up and with a straight, serious face ask me "Do your payphones take Canadian quarters", well, I'm thinking to myself, what the fuck are you thinking, you're in Canada, so of course they do. Well, I didn't say that, but what I did do was hold up the seat from a broken bar stool and tell her "No, they actually take one of these". She kinda grinned and went off to use the phone. Well, a couple minutes later, she comes back and gives me a long winded story about how she forgot her makeup in a cab and that the cab was going to come by to drop it off at the coat check window. Then she says "It will be for me, Rhonda, R-H-O-N-D-A". Again, I'm thinking, first, why are you spelling it, second, how many ways do you know how to spell Rhonda, Third, why would I give a fuck, like the cabbie is really going to come up and say that he has this makeup for "Rhonda, that's R-H-O-N-D-A"

R-H-O-N-D-A, here is your sign!

Kassia
12-17-2001, 02:13 AM
LMFAO!

Kassia