I have returned, My Children

[jesus]

Hello My Children,

I have been away for a long time, and decided to stop by again. I just want to check up on everyone, and see how you are all doing.

[dldz]

Hey Jesus whats up ? Hows Mary ?

[jesus]

My mother is doing very well, thank you. I took her to dinner last night in honor of Mothers Day. We went to the Sizzler.

[dldz]

Great I didn't think a guy like you would forget mothers day.
How about we grab a few bottles of wine some time and talk about old times ?http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/boozer.gif

[jesus]

dldz, you just want Me to turn some water into wine so you could get free alcohol, correct? That trick is very old and annoying. I hate it when my friends invite me to parties and only have water and then they say "Hey, J.C., hook it up!"

[dldz]

Ok so it's an old trick...how about I bring the brownieshttp://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/boozer.gif

[Pandora]

why did u stay away for months? what u been doing?

[HAL9000]

FUCK... JESUS!!!. you son of a bitch... glad ta have ya back ya crazy bastard!

[dldz]

Hey Jesus I almost for got to tell you thanks for sending me those pictures of Mary. She is still looking good after all those years & kids :D Did you ever get your site set up ?

[HAL9000]

And come on... is she REALLY a virgin?

[jesus]

Pandora:
My career has kept me away. It is a little stressful being the Son of My Father. There is always someone that needs My attention.

HAL9000:
Again, I do not think that the profanity is necessary. The virginity of my mother is really none of your business. She did have several children besides myself. Since you are a grown man, I believe you can form an answer to your own question based on that information.

dldz:
I'm afraid I don't know which pictures you're referring to. I have not created a site yet. I barely even have time to look at forum's as it is, let alone work on a site.

[HAL9000]

Hey there Jesus dude... like I said in the other thread... tis a build of excitement.... we are but lowly pawns on this planet and when "the" Jesus comes to visit us..... we get rather excited and well..... a lil funky.

Hey dude.... not gonna ask for the water to wine bit... but are Mike's and brownies OK... twould be totally awesome to have your blessing :D

[HAL9000]

OH OH OH!!!!!..... I got a serious question for you Jesus... take a look at this thread... (http://www.forumclick.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1871) was I right?

[jesus]

I am not a communist. We all know the saying "God Bless America," well, My Dad wouldn't bless it by turning everyone into communists. I believe that those who work harder than others still deserve their own credit.
Back in college, I had a friend named Barry. He and I used to play soccer together. Barry would always use his soccer team wins to pick up on ladies. Little did the ladies know that Barry was a professional bench warmer. It always bugged me that Barry used this to pick up chicks, even though he never put in the effort. And here I am, playing strong forward and I don't get any tail at all.

[HAL9000]

LMAO..... really sux... even being Jesus eh?.... now back to my other comment.... do Mike's and brownies get your blessing... they're ok eh?

[jesus]

If you are referring to Mike's Lemonade products, I find them to be too sweet. But that is just my opinion. Everyone here has free will, and I give my blessing to you to like whatever you want. Brownies are good. I've been working on turning spinach into ho-ho's.

[HAL9000]

RIGHT ON!!!... You da man Jesus.... I don't mind spinich... but turnin them into Ho-Ho's... that would be SO cool!!!

[HAL9000]

I'll ask in here again... I know you're a busy kinda dude to get to all the threads..... you appear to be all knowing (correct me if I'm wrong)...what kinda time frame am I looking at for my new job.... I still have a test and an interview and I'm working REALLY hard to succeed on them.... so I feel I will get the new job, I just would wonder a time frame when.

[Leo]

Jesus went to college! His Mother had more children! Where have I been!?!

[HAL9000]

Hey Jesus dude... nevermind answering that question.. you got it in that other thread.... anyway... we gotta get together and party sometime... tell ya what... I'll give you a break and supply the wine.

[Leo]

Hey can Jesus do me a favor and get me some stuff? I will pray extra hard:p

[jesus]

Yes, I went to college. You can't get anywhere nowadays without going to college. And, yes, my mother had more children. I realize once you achieve perfection with your first, it's really hard to top, but my dad (not my Dad) always said it was fun trying.

[drisley]

Hey Jesus....my name's Buddha...how's it hanging?

[jesus]

drisley, your name clearly isn't Buddha. And it is hanging long and to the right.

[bob]

Did you ever get a wife or are you still content to just hang around with men?

Do you pray to yourself - just wanted to know.

[lil Jimmie]

Jesus H. Christ!!!!!!!!! Just one question what in the hell does the H stand for?

[jesus]

I am taking a wife. I do not pray to myself. I just think. That's all prayer is, really. Thinking toward someone else, and having them listen.

I believe the H. stands for Hank. I don't know who it is, though. It must've been another Jesus.

[lil Jimmie]

Jesus, I’m glad I didn’t have to take a wife she came willingly. Nowadays don't they call that kidnapping and unlawful restraint?

[bob]

It is mail order.

[lil Jimmie]

Oh I see, prostitution hmmmm......

[bob]

The only difference is marriage. ;)

[lil Jimmie]

Does that come with free S&H?

[bob]

It is not COD - you pay upfront.

[lil Jimmie]

Something tells me you might get it in the rear also. ;)

[bob]

If you get married your wallet will suffer more pain than dropping the soap in a turkish prison.

[jesus]

Marriage is a great institution, and I do not see why your boys feel like mocking it.

[lil Jimmie]

Well I am married so I can have a light hearted laugh at it.

[Bomb #20]

Well JESUS! Its Jesus!

ya bastard

[Bomb #20]

Originally posted by Leo
Hey can Jesus do me a favor and get me some stuff? I will pray extra hard:p

That isnt the only time Leo offered to get on his knees...

[HAL9000]

Hey Jesus... did I do good here? (http://www.forumclick.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2953)

[bob]

Originally posted by HAL9000
Hey Jesus... did I do good here? (http://www.forumclick.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2953)


You did the right thing.

Jesus should bow to you. ;)

[dldz]

I think Jesus is busy with leo right now Bob, but yes Hal you did the right thing http://smiles.ru/coll/major/drink.gif

[lil Jimmie]

Hal, if Don is correct with Jesus being busy with Leo you'll be on hold for a while.

[jesus]

Good job, HAL9000. I understand you all felt a loss, that kind of thing just makes people more clique-ie. It was good for someone to step forward and state what you did.

[HAL9000]

Thx there Jesus dude... I'll make your burger a double.

[Pandora]

Jesus, it looks like u came back at just the right moment. Funny how one calls for help and things go just right :)

[jesus]

My Dad works in mysterious ways. For some reason, my plate seems to be totally cleared and I have time to myself. That is why I dropped in here again. And thank you for the warm welcome, Pandora.

[Cricket]

Originally posted by lil Jimmie
Jesus H. Christ!!!!!!!!! Just one question what in the hell does the H stand for? Originally posted by jesus
I believe the H. stands for Hank.It does? Shit, I thought it stood for "Hallabaloo"..."Jesus Hallabaloo Christ".

[jesus]

That could be the case, as well. All I know is, it must be another Jesus.

[Alan]

I want to meet your dad. See if I can get him to write down another copy of those commandement things for me onto stone tablets.

[jesus]

Alan, you have met My Dad. He is an everpresent being in your life, whether you believe it or not.

[Cricket]

Originally posted by jesus
Alan, you have met My Dad. He is an everpresent being in your life, whether you believe it or not. Man, what a cop-out.

[bob]

I think jesus is a girl.

[Cricket]

What makes you say that?

[Blakhart]

I want jesus' ip address.
Yo J, make my 9500pro into a 9800, k?

[lil Jimmie]

Better watch it Blak, we know how lucky you were with the last mobo. ;)

[jesus]

Why don't you just soft mod the Radeon?

[bob]

Originally posted by Cricket
What makes you say that?

"your boys"

[Blakhart]

I know better now. Plug everything in before applying power, right?
:D

[dldz]

I always had fun unplugging while everything was powered up. To each his own I guess, lets see that was about 10 computers ago when I stopped doing that :D

[Blakhart]

:D

[HAL9000]

Originally posted by dldz
I always had fun unplugging while everything was powered up. To each his own I guess, lets see that was about 10 computers ago when I stopped doing that :D

Shit... I've hot plugged in things just to see if plug and play really works.... yes... it does... hot plug in a card, go into device manager and refresh :p

Did that to a co-worker once.... needed to upgrade his CD-Rom... he kept saying just a sec... gotta finish this... I kept taking screws out.... finally.. while he was working... I unplugged the CD-Rom and slid it out... slid in the new one and plugged it in, then put the cover back on....left him undisturbed other than freaking that I shouldn't do that and the CD-Rom wouldn't work until after a reboot... but oh well :p

Jesus... when you coming for that burger... you want the hot sauce on that?

[jesus]

Hot sauce and cheddar cheese, please. Or, if you're planning on putting onion rings on it, I'll have some Kinders bbq sauce.

[HAL9000]

Okie dokie Jesus dude.

[jesus]

You think I am a lunatic as well, don't you?

[lil Jimmie]

No not at all.... so hows that burger?

BTW I only think Bob is a lunatic :D

[HAL9000]

Originally posted by jesus
You think I am a lunatic as well, don't you?

Not at all... would I offer a complete stranger a burger???

[bob]

Originally posted by lil Jimmie
No not at all.... so hows that burger?

BTW I only think Bob is a lunatic :D

Talked to Bubba lately? :)

[lil Jimmie]

Originally posted by bob
Talked to Bubba lately? :)

Is that the guy who drinks beer in your closet?

[bob]

That is the guy that took your girlfriend - the girlfriend who gave you your nickname.

[lil Jimmie]

Oh yeah I remember you! So how are you and bubba doing these days? You two have any children yet?

[bob]

Originally posted by lil Jimmie
Oh yeah I remember you! So how are you and bubba doing these days? You two have any children yet?

Yea. leo

[Chione]

LMAO - poor Leo :)

[lil Jimmie]

Originally posted by bob
Yea. leo

Well now I see where he gets the radical part from.

[Blakhart]

At times, this becomes very hard to follow.
:D

[Blakhart]

And isn't Richard Stallman Jesus???

[Leo]

Originally posted by lil Jimmie
Well now I see where he gets the radical part from.

I never lived in California...my father hates that state....

[jesus]

I am from California.

[Alan]

I visited CA last year. It was fun. My friend lives in SanFran and she took me Kirkwood and Heavenly for skiing. Lost my shirt gambling at Lake Tahoe. It was fun

[jesus]

I like Lake Tahoe, it's beautiful all year round.