Did you ever believe is Santa? [Archive]

Alan

11-06-2002, 01:53 PM

Santa is that fat man in the red suit who smells like cigarettes with those hot looking female elves at the mall that never ever delivered the flamethrower I had on my wishlist. The next year he didn't come through on the Sherman tank, and the year after that there was no aircraft carrier in my backyard!!

Alan

11-06-2002, 01:54 PM

Kass!! What kind of cookies are you leaving??!!

Kassia

11-06-2002, 01:58 PM

:confused: the santa that visits me doesn't look like the one you described, alan. and i bake the cookies myself

Alan

11-06-2002, 02:11 PM

Homebaked served with Mike, I'm sure. Is that how you get the extra big gifts??

Kassia

11-06-2002, 02:28 PM

:D uh huh

Alan

11-06-2002, 02:43 PM

Is there that nekkid pic under the cookies?

Kassia

11-06-2002, 02:45 PM

now you're getting it!

Alan

11-06-2002, 02:48 PM

No I'm not... but I think Santa is :)

HAL9000

11-06-2002, 03:51 PM

< puts on Santa suit >< goes to Kassia's house > HO HO HO!!!... Merry Christmas Kassia!!

Alan

11-06-2002, 03:54 PM

Hal I think you lost too much weight be Santa.

HAL9000

11-06-2002, 03:55 PM

Nah... still some belly there to fill the suit... nuttin a few more Mike's won't fix.

Kassia

11-06-2002, 06:48 PM

Oh Santa.....what big......Mike's you have!! :D:D

HAL9000

11-06-2002, 06:49 PM

And more to cum.

Kassia

11-06-2002, 07:58 PM

Wanna cookie??

Alan

11-06-2002, 10:26 PM

I'll take the nekkid pic under the cookie

Quartzhunter

11-07-2002, 11:06 AM

I don't remember ever asking for really big things...so I am pretty sure I got what I asked for....I was to excited to have noticed wether or not he smelled like ciggys or beer....

Santa cums for me too, but he seems to have lost lots o weight over the years....

But he ALWAYS brings what I asked for ;)

Q

Quartzhunter

11-07-2002, 11:07 AM

with a BIG RED RIBBON you know kinda like a flag....

Q

;);) :p ;);)

HAL9000

11-07-2002, 12:34 PM

What's he bring... a camoflage tarp for the RATS ASSED BRONKO so nobody has to see that disgrace stuck in the ditch.

Quartzhunter

11-08-2002, 10:12 AM

Hal, Hal, Hal....

You are really having way to much fun! She doesn't get stuck in "dicthes" you ninny...

Q

HAL9000

11-08-2002, 05:10 PM

No... probably just dies there... and if it is running.. not enuf power without a towtruck to get out.

dldz

11-08-2002, 06:05 PM

Originally posted by Quartzhunter
Hal, Hal, Hal....
You are really having way to much fun! She doesn't get stuck in "dicthes" you ninny...
Q
-----------------------------------
Ok Q how about you give everyone here a virtual tour of those dents ? Hey & lets hear about that front bumper too.
:D

Kassia

11-08-2002, 08:42 PM

instead of hanging a stocking this year, i'm gonna hang my breastplate and ask santa to fill it with mikes

Quartzhunter

11-10-2002, 07:26 AM

Ok I'll post a pic on my day off and using arrows tell the story of each one of her dents....that owta put everyone to sleep...

Q

dldz

11-10-2002, 10:17 AM

I think i have a picture of most of the dents...should I post it ??
promise you'll play nice and use your 'indoor voice' and won't try and kill me again ?
Does owta = oughta ?

Sauron

11-10-2002, 11:03 PM

I believe in Santa....hes that guy who brings me my computer parts. And lets me know my universe is running well (without me:( )

dldz

11-11-2002, 01:09 AM

BTW Quartz while you were sleeping on the couch lastnight I hypnotized you and know what you got me neeener neeener. And thanks for the moose:D
Stay the fuck outta my shop I'll know if you creep on me.
YGPM
YGEM

Quartzhunter

11-12-2002, 12:16 PM

foot prints....

Q

Quartzhunter

11-12-2002, 12:18 PM

ygpm?
ygem?

Q

zzzzzzzzzzzzbonics in action?

Q

dldz

11-12-2002, 12:28 PM

Geez!
You Got PM
" " EMail

Kassia

11-13-2002, 09:24 AM

Once Q has her coffee, she'll be just fine.

HAL9000

11-13-2002, 09:21 PM

And typing Q-bonics at a record pace.

Kassia

11-13-2002, 10:42 PM

I think santa could be papa smurf

Quartzhunter

11-14-2002, 01:18 PM

I want a 1 carrot dimond rign set in a bezzel setting
Q

Sauron

11-14-2002, 09:44 PM

*smart wised smirk* Quartz, you also don't know how to spell. A 6 karat diamond in a bezel setting? What is a bezel? I am lost.

HAL9000

11-14-2002, 10:00 PM

Bezel

1 : a rim that holds a transparent covering (as on a watch, clock, or headlight) or that is rotatable and has special markings (as on a watch)
2 : the oblique side or face of a cut gem; specifically : the upper faceted portion of a brilliant projecting from the setting -- see BRILLIANT illustration
3 : a usually metal rim of a piece of jewelry in which an ornament (as a gem) is set

Sauron

11-14-2002, 10:37 PM

Oh I did spell it right.

Quartzhunter

11-16-2002, 11:58 AM

see suraon...I didn't have to spell it right you guys figured it out!

Q

dldz

11-16-2002, 12:24 PM

Originally posted by Quartzhunter
see suraon...I didn't have to spell it right you guys figured it out! "Guys" didn't Dave knew I think Suaron is still looking it up.

Sauron

11-18-2002, 11:50 PM

No I know what she is talking about now.

HAL9000

11-19-2002, 12:10 AM

No you didn't

dldz

11-19-2002, 12:42 AM

yes he does

HAL9000

11-19-2002, 08:11 AM

He does? But how?

Kassia

11-19-2002, 09:26 AM

tis a smurfin mystery

HAL9000

11-20-2002, 05:11 PM

A smystery.

Kassia

11-20-2002, 06:27 PM

hee hee, that too ;)

Sauron

11-20-2002, 09:13 PM

I love precious stones:) Rubies are my top favorites tho:) I wish I could wear them:( It sux, I can't wear any rings:(

HAL9000

11-21-2002, 10:12 AM

Why not?

dldz

11-21-2002, 10:26 AM

He just told you he probably has sensitive skin

Who said free brownies & Mikes?

HAL9000

11-21-2002, 10:32 AM

Probably from all that masturbating to gay porn.

dldz

11-21-2002, 10:42 AM

Well lets just ask him and end all this mystery....

WJWheels

11-21-2002, 10:45 AM

You go ahead and ask... I really don't give a shit.

HAL9000

11-21-2002, 10:45 AM

OK....here... till then... have a Mikes and a Brownie.

Sauron

11-21-2002, 03:26 PM

Damn family won't let me:( And I have 2-3-4 years more under here:(

Quartzhunter

11-22-2002, 11:14 AM

under where?

dldz

11-22-2002, 11:16 AM

Under where ?
the porch ?
The stairs ?

Quartzhunter

11-22-2002, 11:49 AM

in the cellar!

dldz

11-22-2002, 11:58 AM

No we don't want to let him in the cellar

Quartzhunter

11-22-2002, 12:59 PM

26 to go

your right we don't

dldz

11-22-2002, 01:00 PM

I'll have Bomb watch the door

Sauron

11-22-2002, 06:02 PM

*sneaks up behind Bomb and gives him a push into the cellar, all the while putting a condom on his finger and thrusting it into bombs mouth...suck it!*

dldz

11-24-2002, 08:24 PM

hey Q remember the empty grave with the dirt covered up by the tarp we found that time ?
Some reason this post made me think of that :confused:

~Join~the~war~against~Snowmen~

Sauron

11-24-2002, 08:56 PM

That is creepy..I am trying to think of one that works with that...oh yeah...there was this time, a month or two before we left, something was getting some of our animals..we still don't know what it is. Whether fox, or wolf or what...but it was something. It had a extremely shrill scream. (or weasel) and sometimes it would bark, but most of the time, it had this amazing way of screaming, then barking, screaming (higher this time) barking, it was annoying...I don't know what it was. I fired the rifle I was carrying at the sound, it ran to its den, (a tunnel that fed a creek that went under a bridge, it had been blocked up.) I kept firing toward that sound. I don't know what it was, but it sure didn't like my gunfire. I doubt if I hit it. It was shaking me up...that damn scream. It wasn't a rat btw.

Quartzhunter

11-25-2002, 12:04 AM

Yeah remeber how spooked KC was when he got dragged up there by Kevin? In the dark...lol...pretty creepy tho...still wonder who it was intended for...concidering it had the breathing pipe and all just waiting there...

Q

dldz

11-25-2002, 12:07 AM

(hehehehehehehe)
I think we had it figured out :D

~Join~the~war~against~Snowmen~

Sauron

11-25-2002, 08:20 PM

Did you see anything??

dldz

11-25-2002, 09:15 PM

I think I'll vote beavis

Sauron

11-25-2002, 09:42 PM

And I will vote butthead.

Cricket

11-25-2002, 10:15 PM

I'll vote Butthead too...hehe...hehehe...hehe...I said "Butt"...

dldz

11-25-2002, 10:21 PM

Boy ol' boy the votes for smoron seem to be adding up fast !
I wonder if he'll want us to sit thru one of his acceptence speechs ?

Quartzhunter

11-27-2002, 09:18 AM

we are voting? on what? for who? and most important why?

Q

HAL9000

11-27-2002, 09:21 AM

On whether Sauron is more like Beavis or Butthead.... vote as many times as you like, no purchase necessary.

dldz

11-27-2002, 11:04 AM

i just read the rules and snowpeople can't vote

HAL9000

11-27-2002, 11:08 AM

But what if the snowpeople are employed in our non licensed bar and casino.....ooops.... I wasn't supposed to mention the casino.... but how the fuck did you think I was paying for all these brownies and tankers of Mikes.

dldz

11-27-2002, 11:13 AM

Oh well if you were paying for them we don't need a lawyer I guess (yet)
Did you tell these snowpeople they get free freezer space to stay in?
At this rate we will never run out of ice

Jack Frosty

11-27-2002, 08:16 PM

No i don't i hear he was a real prick and the elves buried him one spring. Do you beleive in snowmen ?

Quartzhunter

11-28-2002, 07:57 AM

Of course I belive in snowpeople Jack!!!

I live for winter!

Q

dldz

11-28-2002, 08:01 AM

oh this is great so now we're going ot have 'team-snowman' i think Jack is a gov't agent just taking advantage of the season and wearing a clever costume

Quartzhunter

11-28-2002, 08:05 AM

crunchcrunchcrunchcrunchcrunch....

:D

Q

dldz

11-28-2002, 08:08 AM

Watch out I put a ring of deicer around the house I expected you guys to make your move in the early AM today trying to take me off guard.

Sauron

11-28-2002, 12:23 PM

*grins at Don* I am here! To defend the fort/shack/house whateva...I got lots of boiling water and fire sticks!

dldz

11-28-2002, 10:39 PM

get ready Sauron the temp's dropping and thats when I'm sure they'll make they're move. they really hate it when ya fire off a flare and stick them with it :D
Reminds me of dumping salt on a snail :D

HAL9000

11-28-2002, 10:42 PM

Don.... I have the ultimate security system for you. Alcohol will easily melt snow. We now have your house plumbed with Mikes and beer. All you need to do is put in a sprinkler system that you can trigger to spray Mikes and beer everywhere. This way, you can drink like you're in the shower, and at the same time melt the snowpeople..... and you thought I was crazy getting the foil implants...see how clear my thoughts are :D

dldz

11-28-2002, 10:46 PM

Ok how about an old fire truck that has a nozzle controled from the cab ?
It holds about 2000 gals we could cruise around and do some drive bys !

HAL9000

11-28-2002, 10:50 PM

But we couldn't contain the Mikes and Beer to the house for later drinking... you know.. the brownies soak it up off the floor quite nicely.

dldz

11-28-2002, 10:54 PM

Ahh another dipper among us :D

Ok how about getting bags of de icer dumping in the tank and do drive bys ?
We could bring the sacred ice chest for the trip :eek:

HAL9000

11-28-2002, 10:55 PM

I got another idea for outdoor defense.... I wonder if all my pee going into the tanker could be used to melt the snowmen for the drive by shootings.... it strips paint... so we should give it a try.

dldz

11-28-2002, 11:02 PM

Fill er' up !
And hey if we were cruisne aloong and needed to top it off hey ! just piss in the tank and keep on going like having an enldess supply !

HAL9000

11-28-2002, 11:03 PM

Hmmm.... just got a better idea.... I used my pee to fuel the tanker truck... that makes it flammable right... so if we're spraying from the fire hose... all we need is a source of ignition... see where I'm going with this?

dldz

11-28-2002, 11:16 PM

Ohhh yeah !
hey now were getting somewhere with this whole idea!
Ok how about we ask Sauron to run along the side of the truck in the spray area and hold a propane torch ?
think he'd go for it ?

HAL9000

11-28-2002, 11:26 PM

Well... he is a great flamer.... give him one brownie and I'm sure he'll go for it... we can spare one brownie.

Jack Frosty

11-28-2002, 11:57 PM

And exactly what are you two guys planning on doing with this modified flame thrower ? Attack my people ?
I hate it when people de ice just the stress alone takes months of my lifespan and gives me watery hair.

Sauron

11-29-2002, 09:06 AM

You can't do it right Don, I will hold the nozzle, and I will throw a match towards the spray, it will work:) Modified Flame THROWER! GET READY TO BE ROASTED! And I don't want a pot brownie. I get enough buzz yesterday...

Jack Frosty

11-29-2002, 07:04 PM

I see you guys are trying to defend the world against us people huh ?Well I think this should be fun to see,It would resemble the three stooges on a old fire truck driving all fucked up and forget what they were doing. What if I take that truck away from you guys and give you some of your own medicine huh ?

Sauron

11-30-2002, 11:33 AM

Snow people can't hold flamers, carry boiling water and throw firesticks...they'd be melted.

Jack Frosty

11-30-2002, 03:35 PM

Want to make any bets ?

Quartzhunter

12-05-2002, 12:07 PM

they don't know us very well do they Jack?

Q

tee hee hee...

Sauron

12-05-2002, 07:25 PM

Lets see, I can put my hands on $80 right now...soo..yep, if you used the flamer I know of..you'd be water in about 2 seconds...

dldz

12-05-2002, 07:44 PM

Well jacko it sounds like Saurons in for $80.00 (human $$)
I'll go for $80.00 as well

HAL9000

12-05-2002, 09:08 PM

Put me in on that bet.... when we win,,,, maybe we can get that Mike's pipline finished quicker.

dldz

12-05-2002, 10:29 PM

So what happened to Jack ?
maybe you scared him off HAL :)
or he tried to cross the mote

HAL9000

12-05-2002, 11:07 PM

Sounds like somebody ows us each $80

Sauron

12-07-2002, 12:04 AM

Maybe we should have made the wager larger:(

dldz

12-07-2002, 12:12 AM

damn now we are all out 80 bucks each ! Lets hunt that guy down and melt his ass !

Sauron

12-07-2002, 12:48 AM

Heres my hand on that.

Jack Frosty

12-07-2002, 07:12 PM

eerrrr aaahhh guys I only have 100.00 bills can ya break them ?

HAL9000

12-07-2002, 10:00 PM

I'll make change.

dldz

12-07-2002, 10:34 PM

### push my way past HAL###

Noooo way ! i'll make change for ya jack or you could pay pal me :)

Sauron

12-08-2002, 09:01 AM

Shit I hate paypal...thing is so damn annoying to work with...

Quartzhunter

12-14-2002, 12:37 PM

Pay pal is good...shopping good....fun...I found Macys.com...freeshipping...woohoo!

Q

Sauron

12-15-2002, 11:59 PM

I like googlegear better:)

Quartzhunter

12-19-2002, 09:49 AM

what the hell is google gear...sounds like some kind of back pack for the internet...

Q

dldz

12-19-2002, 12:49 PM

Originally posted by Sauron
Shit I hate paypal...thing is so damn annoying to work with... Pay Pal is set up so an idiot could use it, what do you find so difficult ?

Sauron

12-23-2002, 10:06 AM

It continues to say I live in Spain...its extremely annoying with addresses. We had a German violin shipped to us from over in Germany. Decided to pay by Paypal..and the damn thing still thinks we live in Spain...